When Suicidal Thoughts Are A Normal Part Of Your Life

I would love to know what it’s like to not have suicidal thoughts for any extended period of time, but I don’t. My mind doesn’t handle things well and a bad day quickly spirals. It’s not necessarily that I all out want to die most days, it’s just that my mind decides that that’s the […]

I’ll be back in a few days

Hey sunshines. Things have gotten to a really bad point with me, I’m very much red, and while I’m still lucid enough to do so, I’m going back to the crisis unit.Over the last two weeks I’ve been battling extremely bad depressive thoughts and suicidal thoughts, mainly due to dysphoria, and the added piece of […]

Mental Illness, safety plans, and safe people

There have been a couple people that have reached out to me and asked if I was okay, as my posts seemed pretty dark. The answer? No, I’m not okay, and I may end up in the crisis unit again pretty soon But I am safe. See, in the unit that I’ve gone to before, […]

Should I save money for SRS… my mental illnesses say maybe not


I’m trans. I’m dysphoric as fuck. I hate how my body is, it bothers me immensely. I want surgery. Bad. I NEED surgery bad. I started saving up money for it, due to recent situations opening up some of my cash for me, but…

I don’t know if I can save up the cash or not.

Continue reading “Should I save money for SRS… my mental illnesses say maybe not”

I Had Everything I Wanted – And I Still Wanted To Die

Originally posted on Let's Queer Things Up!:
I’ve spent an hour, give or take, furiously pacing the floor of my apartment. They call this “psychomotor agitation,” though I don’t know it yet. I feel like I can’t stand to be in my skin another second, like I’m completely wired and simultaneously the most depressed…

A color code for emotions? What?!

I’ve been trying to figure out for a long time a very simple, succinct way to tell my confidants how I’m feeling, especially when things are bad. There’s one big, huge, problematic issue… I can’t tell anyone when I’m feeling suicidal. And that happens to cause just a few issues like, I don’t know, not […]

The Love Yourself List: Links To Help If You’re Feeling Suicidal

*image found here. ****Occasionally I will repost this as I get more information, or more readers in different countries**** Whoever you are, whether I’ve talked to you or not, you are beautiful. You are loved. There are people that care about you, even if you don’t realize it, even if you can’t see it right now. […]