When Suicidal Thoughts Are A Normal Part Of Your Life

I would love to know what it’s like to not have suicidal thoughts for any extended period of time, but I don’t. My mind doesn’t handle things well and a bad day quickly spirals. It’s not necessarily that I all out want to die most days, it’s just that my mind decides that that’s the […]

I’ll be back in a few days

Hey sunshines. Things have gotten to a really bad point with me, I’m very much red, and while I’m still lucid enough to do so, I’m going back to the crisis unit.Over the last two weeks I’ve been battling extremely bad depressive thoughts and suicidal thoughts, mainly due to dysphoria, and the added piece of […]

Rapid descent into darkness

It’s amazing how fast my moods and feelings can change. That’s one of the scarier deals with everything I deal with. 10 minutes ago, I was totally okay, a little tired, a lot in pain, but okay mentally. Now… I’m down and out, feeling like I’m going to explode with dysphoric uncomfortability (if that’s not […]

Paranoia: making it through mountains

Feature image by Kaelte Every little thing is huge If I confront someone (even if I know them well), obviously things will get physical. If I drive somewhere, of course I’ll die in the car. If someone I love leaves my site, well duh, they’re going to die. Since I play the piano, it’s a […]

Mental Illness, safety plans, and safe people

There have been a couple people that have reached out to me and asked if I was okay, as my posts seemed pretty dark. The answer? No, I’m not okay, and I may end up in the crisis unit again pretty soon But I am safe. See, in the unit that I’ve gone to before, […]

Should I save money for SRS… my mental illnesses say maybe not


I’m trans. I’m dysphoric as fuck. I hate how my body is, it bothers me immensely. I want surgery. Bad. I NEED surgery bad. I started saving up money for it, due to recent situations opening up some of my cash for me, but…

I don’t know if I can save up the cash or not.

Continue reading “Should I save money for SRS… my mental illnesses say maybe not”

Combined and intertwined -mental illnesses

Image found here I’ve been asked before what exactly it is that I “deal with”, because apparently people want to know all at once? I don’t know. I’m often afraid to say because the list is long and it feels like I’m going “poor old me”, but I’m not, it’s just what my life is. […]