growing up, I thought for a long time, actually up until adulthood, that my brother’s birthday was on October 31. I couldn’t get it through my head otherwise. Well not only was I wrong about the day, but about the month as well.
I have spent my children’s entire lives trying to remember their birthdays. The twins I have been the worst with. I still can’t accurately say the day. I get stuck between two dates.
I tend to forget how old I am. It takes me a little bit to remember quite often.
If I’m told something, there’s a good chance I’ll forget what it was within 20 minutes or so. Example: I was told I needed to be back to the house because R had an appointment. In the time it took to drop the kids off to school (30 minutes or so), I completely forgot he needed my help! I ended up having to meet up with him where his appointment was at to trade off the youngest.
People get mad at you when you’re memory doesn’t function very well.
A lot of times people think I’m blowing them off or being lazy, but they don’t understand how frustrated I get either. I hate that my memory is so bad. I wish I could remember basic things like other people. But I can’t.
I’m trying to understand this whole making a schedule thing, which I’m also horrible at and part of that is that it’s hard to make a schedule when you can’t remember all the things you need to do.
I sit down for hours and write out what I need to do, knowing that I’m forgetting things. Then I’m afraid to schedule because what if I forgot something really important. I don’t want to have to change the schedule. I hate schedule changes. What if I’m overbooking? What if I promised to meet someone? Wasn’t so and so moving? Who was I going to help clean? I know I had an appointment, what day was that! What time? I constantly have all these concerns running through my head and I get stuck.
I seem to perpetually be in this loop where I need schedule and routine but find myself unable to successfully pull it off and I don’t know what to do.
I just want to learn how to work with the crappy memory I have and be able to do things better.
Thank you for reading sunshines, and have a beautiful day!