life

Internal Blog Struggle – Anonymity

I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this before, but 300+ posts later, and I can’t be certain. Plus, it’s on my mind anyway, so why the hell not right?

I have thought a lot, back and forth, about whether to keep this blog anonymous or not. I mean, it’s kind of on a shoe string in terms of anonymity in the first place. There are several of my readers that I know offline, who I’ve expressly told about the blog. I’ve read several of my posts to some of my family members.

See… The main reason I don’t want to stop the anonymity is the ability to vent about things. Feeling like I have the ability to say anything and everything, and not have it bite me in the ass with my family. There are a lot of things that they don’t really know, like some of the problems I have with being a parent. They also don’t know, or don’t know the extent of the damage of my past abusive relationships. I don’t know how comfortable I am about my family reading poems about hot, steamy sexy time, etc.

On the other hand, I kind of want my readers to know who I am even more. It kills me to not share pictures. I’m worried about sharing my music (which is a HHHHUUUUGGGGGGEEEEEEE part of my life, that you all are missing out on right now… I’m sorry sunshines), because I have my face attached to it, you know?

It’s this weird duality that I’m trying to hold, because on one hand, I want to stay anonymous so that I have a “safe space” where I don’t have to worry about my family, on the other hand, I don’t like anonymity because I like to let people get to know me in and out. I’m just stuck right now.

It probably doesn’t help that my brain is going into a fogged over drive because the Percocet is kicking in.

I am sick as fuck right now. I can’t speak very well, my voice is all squeaky and scratchy and down right frustrating, and my throat hurts so bad. Well, it did hurt, and then Percocet made my life better.

Anyway, that’s my current dilemma.

Thank you for reading, and have a beautiful day sunshines

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6 thoughts on “Internal Blog Struggle – Anonymity

  1. I’ve got a pretty solid divide between my blogging anonymity and my offline life. I don’t really have any urges to show off pictures of myself, though. I do get urges to show people the awesome things I wrote, and so sometimes I will show family members posts that I have written, but respecting privacy has always been a pretty big thing in my family, so I can trust them not to go looking for my anonymous blog that I’ve told them I want to keep private. I think I would be more worried about potential employers finding my blog than my family finding it, though. It’s kind of a pain to worry about leaving out details that might be identifying (i.e. the city I live in), but it’s worth it, for me. I used to worry about keeping stuff from my family more before I’d come out as trans and an atheist, but now that’s done, there’s nothing major I would freak out if my family found out about. So the main thing is not wanting potential employers to be perusing my mental health blogging…

    Anyway, good luck figuring out what works best for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You make a very good point about potential employers! I forget that they do that now. *boy I’m up with the times huh? lol* Thank you, this is definitely something I should be bringing into consideration as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I relate to what you’re saying here a lot, because on one hand, it’s nice to show people what you’ve done and say “look at this, I did so well”– but on the other hand, there are things they might not be ready to understand. I struggle with internet anonymity too, except that I actively strive to remain anonymous, because I don’t want people I know to know the me I share on the internet. I write to understand, not so other people like me better, and it took a long time for me to find a place where I could share my thoughts without repercussions in real life. But for me, being anonymous means I can’t share pictures of myself in specific places, or my family… it’s rough.

    I’ll respect your decision whichever you decide, and I encourage you to do what’s most comfortable for you and what you think is best. Also I hope you feel better! I’m sorry you’re sick and your voice is scratchy, that’s an awful feeling 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very kindly for your input. I’m not so worried about other people knowing me, but rather, my people knowing my blog. One day I will decide for sure, and drop the battle in my head, but until a solid answer comes to my mind, I’m sticking with anonymity.
      It is nice to know that I’m not alone in my internal battle with anonymity though!!
      Thank you also for the well wishes. Have a beautiful day sunshine

      Liked by 2 people

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