I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this before, but 300+ posts later, and I can’t be certain. Plus, it’s on my mind anyway, so why the hell not right?
I have thought a lot, back and forth, about whether to keep this blog anonymous or not. I mean, it’s kind of on a shoe string in terms of anonymity in the first place. There are several of my readers that I know offline, who I’ve expressly told about the blog. I’ve read several of my posts to some of my family members.
See… The main reason I don’t want to stop the anonymity is the ability to vent about things. Feeling like I have the ability to say anything and everything, and not have it bite me in the ass with my family. There are a lot of things that they don’t really know, like some of the problems I have with being a parent. They also don’t know, or don’t know the extent of the damage of my past abusive relationships. I don’t know how comfortable I am about my family reading poems about hot, steamy sexy time, etc.
On the other hand, I kind of want my readers to know who I am even more. It kills me to not share pictures. I’m worried about sharing my music (which is a HHHHUUUUGGGGGGEEEEEEE part of my life, that you all are missing out on right now… I’m sorry sunshines), because I have my face attached to it, you know?
It’s this weird duality that I’m trying to hold, because on one hand, I want to stay anonymous so that I have a “safe space” where I don’t have to worry about my family, on the other hand, I don’t like anonymity because I like to let people get to know me in and out. I’m just stuck right now.
It probably doesn’t help that my brain is going into a fogged over drive because the Percocet is kicking in.
I am sick as fuck right now. I can’t speak very well, my voice is all squeaky and scratchy and down right frustrating, and my throat hurts so bad. Well, it did hurt, and then Percocet made my life better.
Anyway, that’s my current dilemma.
Thank you for reading, and have a beautiful day sunshines