life

Touch Desert

Touch is extremely important to me. super, mega, extremely important. I need lots of it to be okay. As of late I’ve been in this horribly uncomfortable “touch desert” so to speak.

I’m trying to respect R’s boundaries an need for more space, and he wants/needs far less touch than I do. As for anyone else, well everyone is either overwhelmed or, well, I don’t know. Even with the people that have expressed being okay with being cuddly, I have a difficult time asking to cuddle up, as I’m always concerned about invading their space.
I’ve learned recently that I can be good at doing that. I don’t try to, but I guess I do.

So, I don’t know where personal lines are, and I’ve dialed back to the default being to not touch anyone close to me unless asked, and I hope I’m causing less uncomfortableness (it’s a word dammit!) with people, but this lack of touch hurts, and I don’t want to ask, so I’m kind of stuck.

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day sunshines

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2 thoughts on “Touch Desert

  1. I’m so sorry. 😦 I definitely know the feel of touch deserts, and how lonely they are. I hope someone hugs you soon or holds your hand or something. Maybe you could cuddle your kids, if you’re in the right mental place for that? Some kids are not cool with cuddles but I’ve known a few (especially me and my siblings) who are always down to cuddle with their moms at bedtime.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you sunshine. I’ve been working a lot with the kids on asking before touching, and the idea of bodily autonomy both for them and for myself, and it’s ending up with much less chaos and tension, and more cuddles ^.^ So that’s helped some

      Like

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