Dear Ivy

Dear Ivy: As Long As They Look Female

Here’s a wonderful message that I got on Facebook last night!

Hey, Ivy. Do you know any transgender women (m2f) who look pretty convincing? I was thinking about it and I am tempted to try a relationship like that since I’m curious and because, as long as they look female (or pretty freaking close), I have no problem dating a transgender woman. Don’t take that the wrong way, it’s just that even as a bisexual, I want to be with a woman ltr not a man.
Andrew

Dear Andrew,
Well, slap my ass and call me tranny, I’m sure your milkshake is going to bring all the girls to the yard, because damn you’re good at being flirty and not a complete asshole…
I’m glad that your whole entire request is based off cis passing. It’s the perfect way to go about making friends with, and especially dating trans people. I’m sure that you’re going to get very far with dating potential in the trans community with your top notch attitude! I don’t know that I need to help you find a transgender woman (thank you for explaining to me that meant m2f, of all people, I definitely wouldn’t have known, so yeay! I got educated) very much, because quite often, when one comes across God’s gift to women, they just fall all over them, and they don’t even need to try, so I’m sure I’m not going to need to help you bag the sexiest, cis looking trans woman ever. I’m assuming she’ll have a killer personality and a smile to die for as well.
I’m sure she will fall in a heart beat for you masculine charm, and way with words. I’m assuming you’re looking for a trans woman with a penis since you’re “curious”, and there’s plenty of us out there who are happy to take the time out of our way to be your experiment, because we just love being play toys for the cis world’s enjoyment. I mean, “as long as they look female (or pretty freaking close)” right? Don’t worry. I only know really pretty trans women. You’ll be amazed at how well they can do their makeup, and that cute little ass in a mini-skirt is going to make you go crazy.

TL;DR version
You’re a fucking asshole and I can’t believe you actually sent me a message like this. Your cluelessness is not worth my time to try and educate, and I’m going to laugh if you try to pick up a trans woman and she slaps the shit out of you. You’re being a completely ignorant tool and need to shut your mouth before you lose more brain cells. No. I’m not going to introduce you to any trans individual I may know because you’re being disgusting.

With love,

Ivy

Thank you for reading sunshines and have a beautiful day.

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3 thoughts on “Dear Ivy: As Long As They Look Female

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