Aspergers suggestion, pacing, and being stuck

Write. I’m forcing myself to write. I haven’t written in a week or two. It’s only scheduled things. 

10 minutes. Or so. I can’t tell. I’ve been pacing the floor for at least that long. It’s an L shape this time.

So this is stimming too?

I’m stuck. The house needs to be cleaned badly  but there’s too much to do. I don’t know where to start.

 I don’t have a schedule. It’s killing me. I don’t know what to do next.

I’ve been lost for weeks within myself. 

R suggested I had Aspergers. I was initially confused by the suggestion.  I asked him why he said that and he sent me a small book (see: long list) of reasons why he thought so. 

Okay. He might have a point. At the very least, he caught my attention.

A couple of weeks and my attention quickly turning into an obsession, with article after article and video after video of, about, and from autistic/aspie people, I am convinced. 

I haven’t felt this sense of “I’m home and understood” since I first found out what transgender was. Just last night, I wound up in tears 3 different times, just from an overwhelming sense of understanding.

I’ve decided to seek official diagnosis. The appointment is not until October though. 

I have had an uncomfortably large amount and diversity of emotion over this as of late and it’s throwing me off, but I have been working on, learning about and learning how to speak for myself in regards to my needs for several months and that’s been helping.

There is certainly going to be more to come. I’ve gotten obsessed with this. So I hope you’re happy to come along for the ride. 

Pacing finally stopped. It’s been I don’t know. 1/2 hour, 45 minutes. Does that count as exercise?

Oh yeah. I passed my classes too. 

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day sunshines. 


3 thoughts on “Aspergers suggestion, pacing, and being stuck

  1. Congrats on passing your classes!

    Finding out that there are words for some aspect of you, and that there are other people like you, can be such a powerful relief. I’m happy for you finding more understanding.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s