And this is why I don’t talk about being raped

invalidation
The amazing quote, and the picture, come from here.

“You could have just walked away?”

“What, were you tied up or something?”

“Why didn’t you just push her away from you?”

“That can’t happen.”

“Anybody with what you have always wants it.”

“You’re making it up.”

And, as of recently, the newest one, which came from the other half of my genes (who’s officially out of my life for good finally!!):

“Oh come on, what did she do, hold you down at gun point?”

I didn’t bother defending myself on this because A. That’s a fucked up statement, B. I don’t owe him shit, including an explanation of anything, C. hell if I’m going to validate a total dick move like that with a response.

I have heard all of the statements I’ve quoted above. It’s hard enough to talk about the sexual assaults that happened with people who are supportive, but every time I talk about it and somebody shuts me down as being ridiculous… Well, it makes it that much harder, it makes me withdraw about talking to anyone about something that really needs to be talked about.

For some reason, people can’t get it through their head that it doesn’t matter if you have a vagina or not, it doesn’t matter if you are male or female or any other gender. They just can’t get it, can’t understand it and the invalidation that comes with that absolutely ridiculous preconception is soul crushing.

The fucking reality of it is that, yes, it happened. Yes, I was assaulted and straight out raped. Yes it’s hard to say anything about it. Yes it ended up with kids that I’m taking care of. Yes I don’t have a vagina and yes, I do still enjoy sex.

No, it isn’t a cry for attention, no I’m not being over dramatic, no it’s not impossible, no – taking care of the kids doesn’t mean that I don’t have issues with it, no – not having a vagina doesn’t make it fucking impossible, no – enjoying sex doesn’t mean that I’m full of shit. Life can and does move on.

I’m so sick and tired of being invalidated, and it’s getting to the point that it’s not making me sad as much as it is really starting to piss me off. I can only imagine how much worse guys get it *sigh*

Can’t we all just help each other?

You guys are wonderful, lovely people. Thank you for reading sunshines, and please, no matter their sex, no matter their gender, if someone comes to you about sexual assault, molestation, rape, anything like it. Listen. Validate. Help if you can, if it is safe for yourself to help.

Also, I just wanted to say thank you to every single one of you, my lovely readers. I know it’s my blog, and I write whatever the fuck I want, but I don’t know how many people really realize the difference they can make just by reading and/or interacting with any particular post. I’ve received an astounding amount of validation and love across all sorts of things from you all. You really are sunshines, and you’ve helped light up my life. Thank you kindly.

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10 thoughts on “And this is why I don’t talk about being raped

    1. Wow 0.0 Orcs. I love it lol.
      Thank you very kindly sunshine. I can not tell you what it means to hear that I am inspirational to someone. I hope you have a beautiful day, and take gentle care of yourself

      Liked by 1 person

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