life

Chronic pain and being tired

I am so tired. I’ve been tired all day, and I’ve done absolutely fuck all. This…

This is what happens when cold weather comes about.

I hurt, so much. I’ve hurt all day, my whole body rejects my existence, and my back and hands are leading the charge. I can’t move very well. I’m walking super slow today. I haven’t done much else than eat, sleep, and lay down. Other than the occasional trip out to the garage for a smoke, because pot’s the only pain killer I have that works worth a shit. All I can really do is take it easy because walking from the bedroom to the bathroom tires me out.

It’s damned tiring just existing when all of you hurts constantly, even when one part of you hurts constantly.

I’m 28 for fucks sake, seriously?

I got frustrated earlier because R asked me if I was just going to lay in bed all day. I took offense to what he said cause I fucking hurt. I’m tired because I hurt, and walking around hurts, and I just want to curl up and cry, yes I’m going to lay in bed all day goddammit!

He did have a point though, laying in bed all day isn’t good for me, no matter how much I hope to, it stokes the depression too much. So I’ve been up doing little things here and there, just trying to keep moving in some way, at least keep a little bit active.

It hurts though. I get up from the kitchen table and go to get water from the tap like 12 feet away and *poof* out of breathe.

I’m tired, I hurt all over, and I just want it to stop. Maybe one day I’ll get something that can help, until then, I just have to keep searching for a doctor that will actually believe me.

So how am I feeling? I’m in a pissy fucking mood today. I’m seriously done with hurting like this. I’ve got enough going on with my mental issues, I don’t need this.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this rant sunshines. You’re lovely people, and I hope you have a beautiful night.

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6 thoughts on “Chronic pain and being tired

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