It’s a total pain in the back

I wake up with it, I go to sleep with it. I eat, sit, shower, play and exercise with it, and it would be back pain. It’s in my lower back and started in my early 20s, it’s progressively (but slowly) getting worse over the years. I’m not to the point where meds are needed yet, but there are a few times where I’ve taken things that I perhaps wasn’t prescribed just to get some relief for a little bit.

It’s not easy to live with what I do have, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for those that necessitate pain medication to help mitigate the pain, but still, even though mine isn’t there yet, it isn’t easy either.

There’s a lot that I can’t do, like hold my kids very often, pick up heavy things, sit in one spot for very long, or just sit down comfortably in general. Lay down comfortably in one position for more than 5 minutes. Sometimes walking hurts.

The problem that I run into is that I’m 28, and, well, the *admittedly few* doctors that I’ve seen think I’m full of shit. I haven’t been able to convince anyone to check out my back, I mean, you can’t do one single x-ray for crying out loud? -.-‘

The worst thing about it, is it wears on you, bad. I don’t even realize it half the time, up until I take a strong painkiller or two. Ibuprofen and things like that don’t do anything at all to help 😦 But when I take things like Percocet or Vicoden or Codeine, then it’s amazingly glaring how much it wears on me, how much I can’t do during the day. I feel fucking super human when I take those because I can do all the things! And it’s wonderful.

I can do super human things like sit. Lay down. Hold children. Handstands. Jumping lots. You know, things that normal people totally can’t do.

Unfortunately, it only lasts for a few hours, and then there I am again, with the same shit day in and day out, and I still can’t get a doctor to believe me.

The whole reason I’m writing about this right now is because it’s especially shitty at the moment. I can’t stop moving because I can’t get comfortable, but then, moving hurts too. I can’t sit still, I can’t stand still, I can’t move, I can’t get comfortable, and to some extent I live with this every single day.

And mine isn’t even that terrible compared to those that require medication to mitigate it.

I hope you have a beautiful and pain free day my sunshines. Take good and gentle care of yourself.


3 thoughts on “It’s a total pain in the back

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