Female crying. Picture found here. Words added by Ivy Willow.
I had a hell of a day yesterday. I panicked so badly that I left work 2 1/2 hours early, even with no sick time. I’m having a really hard time with something that’s going on, and it’s fucking with my head. I cried so much yesterday, and I haven’t for a week or two. It’s hard to be sad and not think I’m going into a depression.
I am worried, but there’s nothing I can do. I had a full blown panic attack a good portion of the day. I felt trapped by my job, and I had to run. I’m not proud of my illnesses, but it’s something I have to learn to deal with all the time.
I’ve been told by many of my friends that it is okay to have bad days. The best information I’ve heard is “just don’t unpack there.” That’s probably the single hardest thing to do, is to keep myself from unpacking in the sorrow. Trying to let myself feel the pain, and then let it go, or at least don’t let it control me, is so incredibly difficult.
I always wonder if people without mental illness have as hard of a time not getting stuck in their sorrow as I do. Is it as simple to sink to an overwhelming low? I hope not. I don’t want anyone to have these problems.
At the end of the day though, I have to remember:
“It’s okay to have bad days, just don’t unpack and stay there.”
So, today is a new day, I’m tired as hell because I stayed up to late, but today is a new day, I’m doing pretty damn good all considering, and I’m looking forward to having a good day.
Take gentle care of yourselves and have a beautiful day sunshines