Things get worse before they get better

This was six months after I escaped from V. It was one hell of a roller coaster. By month three, I momentarily felt okay. Things got so, so much worse and went way downhill from there, and I wouldn’t see any getting better until nearly a year after escaping.
Things just keep getting worse.
Three months ago, I was fine.
Two months ago, it was sort of bothering me.
One month ago, it felt like a problem.
Now… I am having flashbacks and body memories. I see my abuser everywhere. I am terrified that she is going to be at my house when I get home. I’m having panic attacks, and night terrors like I’ve never known. I’m truly afraid to sleep.
Everything is going downhill, and only looking bleaker.
Why is this beating me down like this?
I don’t know what to do…

3 thoughts on “Things get worse before they get better

  1. Hey Ivy, is this blog post about yourself? I’m new to your blog and haven’t read anything else, but I’m sorry to hear it if you’re going through this. I wish I had something positive to contribute, but I just want you to know that I wish the best for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is. I was in an extremely abusive relationship from 2009-2011. I’m writing more about it in a lot of my posts, but the specific story is titled “The story of V”. I’m putting it out little by little as I’m able to write about it.
      Thank you so much for your sentiments sunshine, welcome to my little corner of the world, and I hope you enjoy!

      Liked by 1 person

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