After I got out of my abusive relationship in 2011, I was on a rape survivors forum pretty constantly for about a year. They helped so much. I’ve been going through my posts on there, and that’s when I “found” this. It’s not actually easy to let go of your abuser. There are times when I still get a little bit of this feeling, but they are very few and far between anymore.
I miss her. I miss her face, her body against mine when we cuddled, her lips on mine when we kissed.
I miss her voice, and her silliness. I miss her caring, and I miss how she made me feel like the top of the world. I miss her beauty, I miss just simply looking at her, and getting lost in her looks and my feelings for her.
I wish I could forget all these things.
How the hell could I miss someone so badly that abused me like she did? How can I even think of the good?
Worst of all…. how could I want her back?
I think I’m broken