Living alone and loving it, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a dark side to it

R and I got into it a little bit (our version of fighting is really calm, which is nice) because I haven’t been around lately. I haven’t talked to the kids much in the last two weeks. I haven’t called much, if at all, I haven’t visited much when the kids were actually awake…

It’s a mix of a couple different things.

One is the idea of out of sight, out of mind. I can’t make images in my head at all. To my detriment, it makes it very easy to forget about things. Even important things like, you know, family.

The other thing is, I’ve really started loving being on my own. Being able to make my own choices without worrying about the people I’m living with. Not having to be responsible for the hellions constantly. Admittedly, this makes it difficult to consciously set things up to be down there. It’s becoming a balance of “this is really nice, I just want to keep it like this all the time” and “I love my family, and want to be there with them, so I need to schedule time with them”

I didn’t realize it would be so hard to want to go back.

It kind of bothers me that it is.

And yet, it’s nice that it’s not.

*sigh* The joys of figuring out life right?

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day sunshines


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