The idea that there’s a cohesive lgbt community is a joke

“You’re just a confused femme boy”

“It’s people like you stealing all our femme boys”

“You’re just a confused butch”

“You’re stealing all our butch women”

I have heard these statements far too many times. I have seen my brothers and sisters and myself dropped on our asses from the gay community far too many times, because we aren’t convenient to them. I’ve heard too many slurs from the gay community towards us, because they are unwilling to learn and understand. As for personal experiences, even living in a more conservative city, I’ve experienced worse transphobia from the gay community than I have from the cis/straight community. It’s mind blowing, and it makes me so fucking mad.

We’re supposed to be a cohesive community. We’re supposed to be LGBT and beyond. We are supposed to be friends and partners in helping each other get our civil rights, but yet, over the past 13 years, I’ve seen trans rights get swept under the rug again and again and again because it could possibly slow down or impede the gay rights movement.

Don’t get me wrong, I want everyone to be able to live their lives, I know it’s not ubiquitous, and I’m absolutely part of the gay community as well, but god dammit. I am so sick and tired of being second rate and marginalized by a fucking marginalized community!

When the hell did the gay community forget the oppression they felt and continue to feel? When did they decide that it was fine to do the same thing to someone else? I’m so sick of all of it. I’ve seen it nationally, I’ve seen it locally. The pride center we had in our city is gone, but they weren’t worth their weight in shit in the first place. They didn’t help the gay community much, and they definitely didn’t help the trans community, in fact even going as far as hiring a president that was transphobic. They never had a single resource for us. Never.

I grew up in my teenage years knowing that the only thing for me was the youth group, but once you’re past 22, you can’t go anymore. There’s nothing. There’s one group pretty much occupied by a bunch of catty, backstabbing, super bitchy old trans women. That doesn’t help us younger folks, because they are… not very welcoming to us.

I hope that there are plenty of cities where my brothers and sisters have not seen this, but I fear that’s probably not the case with as much as I’ve seen on a national level.

There is a disgusting petition going on, started by a group of gay and lesbian individuals to remove and separate the T from GBLT, because, well, we’re apparently demonizing the gay community and trying to re-write history. On the bright side, Lambda Legal, GLAAD, and the Human Rights Campaign have all posted their own opinions on there about how horrible they think it is. So, that definitely gives me hope. It’s not that I don’t entirely disagree with there being a chasm between gbl and t, but the reasoning behind this petition is disturbing at best and horrible at it’s worst. Yes, we have different needs, but seriously?

It’s got to stop. It absolutely has got to stop. I hate to say it, but gay community we need your help. People are understanding the gay community more than ever, but trans people are still this terrifying anomaly.

I can’t even pee without it being a fucking political issue. Can you really not see how bad it is for us? How can you forsake another marginalized community? How can you treat us with the same contempt you have been dealing with for years?!

I’m tired. I hurt, and I’m tired. I try so hard, and so many others try so hard. We pushed for you. We pushed so hard for you, we still push so hard for you, back you up for everything we can, and yet… Here we are, with some of the biggest queer movements having zero trans representation or, just starting to try, which is good, but why the hell did it take so long? With lots of pride centers across the country just not bothering to be inclusive of, or actively avoiding trans board members.

It’s getting better, very, very slowly, and for those of you that support us, those of you that have been willing to learn, those that never turned your back on us, and been there from the start, I am so incredibly grateful for you, and I thank you.

I will always continue to support the entirety of the queer community, but right now I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m angry and I’m tired.

So please sunshines, no matter your orientation, but especially if you are of the cis and gay community, please, help us. Help my brothers and sisters. Help me. There’s so far to go still to even have basic rights for us. There are still states like Ohio where we can’t change our birth certificate at all. There are still so many horrible things happening to us. You are in a better position then we are, you are still marginalized, and I don’t discount that in the slightest, but you have a leg up that we don’t have, and we could seriously use your help.

I love you, all of you, even those who hate us. I have hope that perhaps, one day, you will be willing to help, willing to at least try to understand, but until then, I love you, but I am so mad at you, and so tired of the hate. I hope one day you can reciprocate the love.

Thank you so much for reading this sunshines. I hope you have a beautiful day.


7 thoughts on “The idea that there’s a cohesive lgbt community is a joke

  1. That petition *is* disgusting because of the intention behind it (to further marginalize and demonize those of us who identify as trans). I do think it’s important to recognize that “GLB” refers to sexual orientations and “T” refers to gender identity, and there are divergent needs from each aspect that makes the synthesis of “GLBT” a bit tricky. But this sort of discussion should come organically from the community, and definitely NOT in the form of a petition designed to further marginalize an oppressed group. Never mind Stonewall (the birth of the gay rights movement) was largely carried out by gender non-conforming people. The GLB movement would have been significantly set back my the “T”s, who were the primary targets of violence at that point. Oh wait, still are…
    Oy. Rant over. Thank you for speaking up and writing about this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That petition pissed me off so much when I found out about it.

    I don’t know if it’s representative of my area (which is liberal), but the LGBTQ student services office (and safe space hangout spot) on my campus is really welcoming to everybody in the not-straight and/or not-cis alphabet soup umbrella community*. It seems like half the people I have met there are trans, and even aces are explicitly included.

    I’ve seen hostility from the LGB community towards aces, too. Especially about the idea of including aces in the broader community (because we’re apparently not “oppressed enough” or something?), and people telling heteroromantic, biromantic, or homoromantic aces that they are “really” straight, bi, or gay (and completely ignoring the existence of aromantic aces), and telling ace people that queer is exclusively about attractions, whether they are sexual or not, in order to tell heteroromantic aces that they’re not allowed to call themselves queer, while at the same time erasing trans people (I do fully acknowledge that the history of “queer” as a reclaimed slur can make its use as an umbrella term problematic, but the exclusion of certain marginalized non-straight identities from the umbrella is also problematic).


    In conclusion, it pisses me off when people with marginalized identities engage in identity policing at the expense of other people with marginalized identities.

    * Though a friend of mine told me he felt uncomfortable there because of his age and race–like maybe people thought he didn’t look like he should be there?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s