Through conversation with the amazing Laurie , it made me think about something I hadn’t thought of in a while. So…
It is nice to have someone who understands, truly understands, what you are going through when you’ve been through abuse. Someone who’s been through abuse is able to go into that hole with you, they know how to get in it, and they know how to help you up out of it. Being able to talk with others that had went through abuse like I had with V was probably the single biggest help I’ve had overall.
It’s also so incredibly heart breaking…
I know how much I hurt with what I went through. I know how much it fucked me up. I know how much it haunts me nearly 5 years later, and probably for much longer then that.
I wish that there was nobody who understands what I go through, because, while I may not get that same level of connection as I do with other survivors, nobody else would ever hurt the way I do, and that would be completely worth the isolation I would have. I don’t want people to hurt. I wish I could take everyone’s pain from things like that away.
It helps so much to talk to people who understand, but that help is heavily tempered with pain for the others. It’s so weird to receive both consolation and sadness at the same time.
I love you all. Go out, work to help someone be happy. Do no harm. Protect yourself and ask for help, you are worth it. Thank you for reading, and have a beautiful day.