This is so eloquently put. Please, do not ever out a trans person you know. Beyond being uncomfortable and frustrating, it can be and often is incredibly dangerous. You could destroy their lives in the blink of an eye. I’ve lost jobs being outed. I’ve lost other friends (debatable on if that’s ultimately a bad thing), I’ve been really lucky though. I’ve yet to be physically harmed by someone because I’m trans, but I have been threatened. Please sunshines, no matter how much you want to, unless you have express permission, do not ever, under any circumstance, out a loved one who is trans.
Recently, a well-meaning friend of mine disclosed my trans status to a friend of his, someone I hadn’t known previously. I don’t know that I ever would have found out that he had done so if his friend hadn’t slipped up and referred to me as “she” in front of a group of people.
He quickly corrected himself and moved on with whatever he had been saying, but for me, the damage had been done.
That one little pronoun ripped away my confidence and left me stunned and confused. Although it still happens once in a while, being seen as female has been a rare occurrence for me over the past six months, so I asked myself why this person whom I had just met would confuse me with a woman? Was it obvious that I was trans? Was I kidding myself, walking around in the world thinking that I…
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