life

On being trans: fear and awkwardness in the bedroom

Main photo curtsey of the amazing comic Questionable Content.

Whether you love sex and want it constantly, or would prefer it only happens every once in a while, if you’re going out into the dating scene, shit gets problematic if you are trans.

First off, if you haven’t had surgery, it’s nearly a requirement to continually out yourself to potential partners, even if it’s just going for a one night stand. There are a lot of people who are “okay with it” in theory, but then bug out in the bedroom, once they actually see you naked and realize that yes, you do indeed have the “opposite” sex parts of your gender.

It’s scary, uncomfortable, concerning, and it’s super hard to be completely comfortable in the bedroom and just let yourself go and get into the moment.

I know not everyone in the world is an ass, not even close, but there’s always the fear that I’m going to run across the wrong person.

I really want to go out dating, but I’m afraid to. I’m afraid that the moment they find out I’m trans, they’ll run. I’m afraid that, if we do end up in the bedroom at some point, they’re going to freak out, and totally not be okay with me once my clothes come off.

It’s hard for me to be comfortable regardless of the person, I mean, I still have times with R where I feel awkward and like anything but a total sex goddess (which I totally am if I’m comfortable ^.~)

It’s just frustrating and disheartening that everything from taking a piss to dating, from trying on clothes to sexing it up with someone has to have such difficulties attached to it at one level or another.

Perhaps one day things will change and sex won’t be such a difficult thing for many trans people, but I don’t think that will until we have more open talks about sex and sexuality.

Thank you for reading, and have a beautiful day sunshines!

 

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