*THERE ARE SEVERAL UPDATES AS OF 01/10/15 Things I realized I missed*
There are going to be multiple sections to this. V is the woman I’ve referenced before. The one that destroyed my world. I’m writing this from beginning to end, in the way that I learned, found out, and understood things, so there may be things that make no sense at first.
“Fuck you. Oh wait, you already did.”
I thought that was an interesting, and oddly worded statement. There were a couple of things I noticed about this girl, V, off hand. She was beautiful, absolutely fucking stunning, and very, very sad. She had been hurt before, that much was obvious. I’d seen her posts in the forums before. There was something wrong. We had talked back and forth on the forum a little bit before, but I thought I would go ahead and PM her. That statement worried me.
We hit it off right away. She was interested in many of the same things I was. She even knew who Code 64 was, that was a first. She was in a band, she had sent me some songs. Holy shit could the girl sing. If we ever met in person, perhaps I could record some music with her. She’s on the other side of the US though, so that was unlikely.
I was working as a DJ for Goth nights at the club I went to. It took me a long time to get the position, and I got the outside deck all to myself, every week. It was cool because people absolutely loved what I did. I would draw the crowds away from the dance floor! It was so much fun, and quite an important job for me at the time.
Our conversations deepened over the course of the month, slowly, but surely, she started letting out more information. There was this guy, J, that lived next to her and often came over. He used to be a friend, but over the last several months, he would be cruel to her. He would force himself upon her. As she opened up more, and told me more about the whole situation, I started to really worry for her. This guy was fucked up. I talked with her, and decided I was going to save her from there, I offered my place up, if she could get to my city.
At first, of course, V was hesitant, I mean, we met online, I could be anything right? I didn’t worry about this too much, she was stunning, friendly, funny, kind… She couldn’t be anything right?
We started falling for each other pretty quick, probably faster than it should have happened, but that’s life right?
My relationship with S was going down the shit hole. We’d been on and off for years now. I was so tired of all of it, so it didn’t really matter. I knew it was a matter of days before one of us dumped the other, and sure enough I was right. We were done, I couldn’t take it anymore. I split up with her. We still lived in the same house and co-parented, which was… awkward, to say the least.
V finally decided enough was enough with J, and she managed to escape and move in with me in July of ’09. Across the country she traveled, to get away from someone highly abusive. I had to keep her safe. I told her I would.
When she got there, she expanded upon the stories of J, and started telling me the stories of T. A monstrous individual, with an insatiable appetite for violence and fear. Another person who had left her scarred. Another person who had raped her. The stories came little by little, each more gruesome, more terrifying than the next. My heart went out to this wonderful, sad young woman.
We started dating not too long after she moved in.
We had talked about sex some, and how she felt. She said that outside of the shit her abusers had pulled she was a virgin. She said she was scared because of her situation before. She begged me not to force her. I told her that of course I wasn’t going to. I would keep her safe from vile things like that.
Things started to get spooky pretty quickly after she came. We were on edge constantly. Apparently, J had followed her out here. I never saw him, he was pretty slick. He sent a few emails, but that was it. She disappeared a few times, said she would talk to him, try to reason with him and get him out of there. Each time, she would come back haggard, and often bruised somewhere.
I asked her to please stop talking to him, he would just continue to hurt her. She said she would think about it. After about a month, he called her one day, and she had a long conversation with him. He seemed distressed. She hung up the phone, and said that he was leaving. He said he was going to kill himself. She said that he told her this whole story of how to protect her, he ended up letting T (we’ll get there in a minute), her main abuser, attack him instead of her to protect her. Through all this, he had come to resent her, and wanted to cause her damage. He said he couldn’t take it anymore, and so he was going to take himself out.
I didn’t know if he’d actually do it or not, but if he was leaving, she was safe.
Sometime either during J or just before the new arrival T, she had disappeared for hours at one point. When she got back, she told me that she got caught up by a group of guys behind the club. They had knocked her out with something. She was cut up around her vagina, and bleeding from there and from the cuts around her legs and labia.
Then T showed up. He was supposed to be in jail. T was a terrifying new world, like no other person I had ever met.
He was cryptic. He would send email to both myself and her, I don’t even know how he got my email address. They started small, just trying to scare, but they became terrible messages, speaking of horrible things he would do.
**MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: sexual, physical and psychological abuse, pedophilia. THESE ARE THE REAL EMAILS, AND THEY ARE VERY FUCKED UP, READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK AND PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF SAFE**
im going to tie her down. im going to fuck her. and youre going to watch you fucking faggot trans.
8/08/09 Your girl:
you know what i’ve done to your girl. has she told you. i’ve tied her down. cut her open. and fucked her raw. i hope you know that. im sure shes told you. i just love sliding that blade in and out of her cunt. shes a screamer that one. i love being inside her though. its just fun.
08/08/09 Oh baby.:
im going to fuck your girl up. im going to make her feel everything. shes going to fucking love it. i can’t fucking wait to get my hands on her. by any means necessary. i want her. i want to be IN her. i WILL be in her. and she WILL feel it.
08/08/09 Your babygirl:
let her go. give her to me. and i wont hurt you. its her i want.
08/08/09 Her.: [This was after one night, where she had disappeared with a crash down the stairs. I rushed out to the hallway, but she was long gone. I searched and searched for her, but couldn’t find her. Finally, after over an hour, she came limping up to me, blood on her, with the word mine carved into her stomach. She said he’d taken her, then I got this email]
sorry to scare you. i had to borrow your girl for a bit. i threw her in the car. buckled her in and drove a bit. not far. just to an alleyway. made sure she kept shut the fuck up, put a gun by her head. took her shorts off. used some glass on her legs. just a few nice slices. marked her with it, MINE. carved her a bit with my dagger too. he likes her skin. i like her skin. its soft. cuts nice. i fucked her pretty good too. made her bleed a bit. had to make sure she felt me. i explained how i was going to fuck her again tomorrow afternoon. care to join? just know i took good care of the little worthless slut. she felt me real good. then i chucked her back at the apartment. it was fun. can’t wait to fuck her again.
where’d you and the little cunt go? are you still made that i’ve fucked her and you havent?
08/09/09 The girls:
They seem to have taken a liking to my princess.
08/09/09 Sorry: [There was a prior message to this that I can’t find. He gruesomely detailed things that he wanted to do to my daughters, then a little while later, sent me this]
im sorry, did it upset you that i want to fuck your girls?
08/30/09 Hello there.:
Why don’t you ask V why she’s flipping out now?
my you look stunning today. love the boots, darling. as for [V’s nicknane], i’ve taken a liking to the name. when i saw her last, she wasn’t V. she was right, shes a different person. and I like [nickname] even more. As for you, I’m still confused. [my name] or [my birth name]. can’t decide.
08/30/09 Well then:
have a nice fuck?
08/30/09 Morning beautiful:
Have a nice nap, lovely? My god you are a pretty girl. I can totally get what V sees in you.
08/30/09 Hey princess:
Hello, princess How are you doing? Bet you can’t wait for me to get at your girl.
Have fun dj-in tonight, princess. It will be your girls last night with you. Enjoy it.
Fast & Beautiful. just how i like em.
Guess d-jing didn’t work out, princess.
08/31/09 Hey girl.:
YOu need to stop fucking my girl. she’s mine.
hey [Ivy]. you’re a pretty one, aren’t you. love you in pink.
09/06/09 Hello there
I already told your little princess my plan. So why don’t you ask her exactly what it is.
Soon. Soon. Soon.
Clocks ticking sweetheart.
He didn’t send any after that. During that time, we were constantly running from him, either holed up in the apartment, or very carefully sneaking away from it. I never did see him.
We had sex for the first time the night that T carved mine into her. I figured that may have been retribution for her sleeping with anyone else. It made sense considering how fucked up all the emails were, and that he had written that I needed to stop fucking his girl.
She was astounding in bed. [Which I hate to admit at this point] She had very obviously had more than a little bit of experience.
Over the course of this time, I didn’t really let her go out on her own, if I could help it. It was difficult though, as she would run off, and she would often yell at me for babying her, and trapping and controlling her, just like J and T would.
She also talked a lot about wanting a baby. I mean obsessively talked about it. She told me, story by story over the course of the first 2 months or so about how there had been times when J and T had raped her, and gotten her pregnant. Every time they found out, they would beat her into a miscarriage. There were 9 or 10 of these stories that came about.
Her baby obsession was so much so that she had started talking about just leaving for a while, letting J and/or T do whatever they wanted to, and running way when she knew she was pregnant. By the time she said she was going to do this, reality had started becoming confusing. I didn’t quite understand up from down anymore. Knowing it was a bad idea, I said I would protect her. If it meant that much… I would help. I don’t think I will ever be a ble to say why I agreed to it. Reasoning was fuzzy at best. It was an empty gesture though, as I was on hormones, and well, stay on hormones long enough, and while you are on them, you will become more sterile than surgical equipment.
At some point during this time, I do not remember quite when, we had been hanging out by the club that was behind my place, but, out of fear of T, she begged me to dress as a boy, and act like a boy for the night, so that he would think that she was protected by another guy.
A couple days after the last email from T, V told me that a friend had called her, and told her that J had driven himself off a bridge. So shit, he actually did kill himself.
V came up to me a week or so after that last email from T, and told me that she had finally called the police, and concocted a plan. Next thing I know, V and I had managed to borrow my brothers car, and we were driving to Arizona to get away from him, and to get him caught by the police. By the time we had got to Arizona, she had told me she got a call from the police, and they caught T. We went to Arizona because her brother was there, so we stayed at his place for a few days, and then came back.
She had taken to calling me babe, and her protector. She said she was thankful for what I was doing, even if she got mad at me sometimes when she felt over protected.
Things were calm for a little bit, as he’d been put back in jail, but then, J re-appeared. It seemed that his apology was hollow, and his suicide wasn’t real. So, he began creeping around and toying with both of us again. At that time, I worked at a porn shop, which, like most of them seem to, sat at a super seedy part of town. She was there with me for many of the nights I worked. (Yes, I was a female, working night shifts at a porn shop. To top it off, it had an arcade *pukes*. It was really gross)
Anyway, off track.
He was always calling her, and toying with her. At one point, she said he told her he was going to come to the shop while we were there, and there was going to be hell to pay because I wouldn’t give her up to him.
So I called my brother, my best friend, and R, his wife at the time. Next thing I know, they all show up, (my brother with his shotgun, because, well, that’s just my brother) and R had brought two of his friends. They guarded the place all night. J never showed up. None of us ever saw him.
As she had a tendency of doing, she disappeared on me (or well, us this time) and came back haggard and bleeding. Things were getting insane.
So, I dropped my job at the shop, and I dropped my beloved DJ gig and we…
…moved to her state after that, without telling anyone I loved and cared for. The one that I had taken her away from, back to living right next to the house where J lived.
On our way, we met up with a friend of hers about halfway through our travels. We stayed the night at their house. In the morning, Someone called V, and she had a conversation with them, about 20 minutes or so, and she looked scared. She said we had to go, it was T. He had gotten her number somehow and called her. I told her we would get on the road soon, she didn’t have to worry.
I had to use the phone before we left and I opened up the recent contacts, and…
…the most recent call was not an incoming call that lasted about 20:00, but rather an outgoing call to a number I didn’t know, that lasted 0:00.
I shrugged it off as an odd anomaly and nothing else. I made my call, we left her friend’s house, and headed toward her house. It wasn’t all bad. I’d be getting to meet her family and see her stomping grounds, but, I was leaving everyone behind.
I’ve got to stop right now sunshines. This is so hard to recount, and things only get worse from here. Thank you for your time. Have a beautiful day.