I’m about to get totally puke worthy up in here, I hope y’all are ready ^.^
I’m bluntly honest with nearly everything with people, but I have a hard time telling people how much I care about them.
That said… the puke worthiness is:
Finally, when I was talking to K I gathered up the courage to tell her that I love her. I realized that I feel so deeply about her probably about a month or so ago, but I didn’t want to say anything. I get worried about fucking up relationships of any kind, and ours is awesome, so, I was afraid I was going to make things super uncomfortable, because I didn’t know specifically how she felt about me.
I was also concerned that confessing that would make her think that I was pining for a partner/lover type relationship, when honestly, it doesn’t matter. Our relationship is the shit, no matter what form it takes. I’m just really glad we know each other. It would be cool if that happened, but it’s fucking awesome just to be close. What the relationship is and how it functions is not a large concern to me.
We’ve known each other for about a year or so now, and in that time, we’ve grown incredibly close and have created the type of friendship where we can tell each other our deepest fears, greatest joys, darkest secrets, everything, it doesn’t matter. In fact, her knowledge about my life is probably only rivaled by R’s.
When I panic, the first person I try to talk to is her, because she truly understands, and she is the kind of person to just listen without judgment, no matter how oddball it is. I can stop being everyone’s rock for a moment and be able to draw strength and a feeling of protection from her, and I can do the same for her as well.
Now, it’s not to say that R isn’t helpful, he’s just as non-judgmental as K is, but, he doesn’t have anxiety, he doesn’t really have panic attacks, and so he doesn’t understand at the level she does.
I’ve shared more with K in the past year than I have with most other people in my life, including people I’ve known for a very long time. I don’t know why we clicked so well, but we did, and it’s wonderful.
I’m proud to know her, and I’m glad to have her in my life. Whatever form our relationship may take, whatever title it may hold (or not hold) does not matter. Be it friend, lover, partner, or just simply being, I love K so much as a person.
K, if you read this, as I’ve told you before, thank you for asking about my tattoos, and I love you.