Pot and parenting.
It’s pretty blatant on my site that I’m bipolar and have anxiety. I’ve written about how much of a problem that can be when you’re raising kids, much less a horde. I don’t handle loud situations well, they become overwhelming and overly stressful super quick, and of course kids are loud, and erratic, which is even worse.
So, I’ve found something that helps me be a better mom, helps me be a better play mate, it helps me get on their level, and for a little bit of time, we can fully and completely relate, and we don’t have to worry about mommy’s head going funny.
I sit down in the peaceful and quite, no kids allowed space of the house (the garage, which is freezing right now by the way), and I smoke myself some pot.
Then I go play with my babies.
I know a lot of people have a really bad reaction to that. “Why the hell would you do drugs around your kids?” “What is wrong with you being high around them?” “Somebody seriously needs to call DHS?”
I’ve seen so many different negative things, but… Nobody takes the time to listen. So sunshine, I implore you to open your ears, and push out any negatives you may have.
When I smoke, I calm down. My anxiety isn’t constantly trying to overwhelm me. Loud noises don’t scare me, and chaos is acceptable. I can get on their level, and understand them, it is absolutely lovely and has helped our relationship grow so, so much.
I don’t get little kids, just in general, outside of the whole mental concerns. They are these little beings that might as well be from another planet. The way they see the world is nearly unfathomable to me. Such strange little creatures. Pot allows me to understand their strange little minds. I owe a huge amount of our positive relationship to having some pot in my system when we really hang out…
If I don’t, I’m so incredibly distant, and it hurts my heart. I feel so bad for them.
I do want to clarify, it’s not all the time and I would never think of getting high if I’m the only one watching them. Because of this need to stay sober while watching them alone, things get tricky sometimes. I tend to send them outside, or find things that will keep them distracted and quiet and way out of my bubble.
I don’t want that existence for them. I know it hurts when I have to push them away, and I know they don’t understand that it’s not them.
I want to be the best mom that I can possible be, and pot helps me do that.