For a long time, I went for the whole long term plan it out idea of relationships. Now, I think that long term commitment is what is killing so many marriages. I mean, here in the US, we have over a 50% divorce rate. This has a multitude of factors, but I think a major one is the wedding vows.
Don’t get me wrong, I hope R and I have a very long relationship, with or without other partners, but I will never pledge any version of the wedding vows to him, and I don’t expect it from him.
We’ve decided that it’s better to wake each day and decide that we still want to be with each other. We’ve both come to the conclusion of never worrying about our relationship status. Either we wake up mutually agreeing to continue our relationship or we wake up deciding to end our relationship.
I think it’s a horrible idea to find a partner and go “Pikachu, I choose you!”
There are plenty of monogamous and long term relationships that work, but putting a time limit on it seems odd. I would rather be free to love someone until I don’t. Have a relationship that works until it doesn’t. I would rather have a mutual understanding that either or any of us can walk away and it’s okay.
We hope for long term, but there is no way we would bind each other or ourselves to it like that.