I had a cis friend ask me this earlier. She is confused as to why there should even be a distinction, when trans women are women and trans men are men. On some level, this was odd to me, as this friend is a black lady. I feel like it’s the same as asking why do we use the word black, I mean, black people are people as well, so it makes no sense right?
I pose that, not to be mean, but to make the point that trans is just as important and necessary of an identity as black or gay or any other identity out there.
I can understand what she is saying. She feels that labeling trans people is separating trans people from “everybody else”, but I don’t think it is. I’ve written before that I’m really not that fond of being trans, and that’s true, but the longer I think about it, and the more I live my life, the less I can just try to avoid it, and the less I can go “I am a (implied cis) woman.” *stuffs entire first 21 years away into deep dark hole*
I can’t do that anymore. Though I don’t like being trans, I can’t do anything but proudly claim it. I absolutely can not turn my back on all my accumulated experiences to fit into a particular mold that is expected of me. Why should I not label myself as trans? Why should I not share with the world the beauty, intrigue, and pain that I have had in my life, because of my particular and special circumstances being trans?
So, why should we use trans rather than just sticking with guy and girl?
If we don’t use trans, if we just parse people right back down to male and female, we utterly destroy other gender identities. It’s not a confining box, it’s a liberating one. Yes, I am a woman, and I will loudly and proudly say that I am! But I am also trans. That is an integral part of my identity, of my gender. I am not and, as a whole, do not want to be considered as a cis woman. I don’t have all their experiences, they don’t have mine.
Point blank, I grew up male identified. Whether I like it or not, that’s just how it is. Luckily, our children’s generation is being able to be themselves younger and younger, and don’t have to go through the horrors of the incorrect puberty, but that’s an off track tangent right now.
Cis women did not grow up male identified. Though we may identify with mutual experiences as adults, we do not identify with mutual experiences in our adolesence.
This does not at all mean that I don’t want to be identified as a woman, I am, and I am so fucking proud of the point that I’m at in my life, but I absolutely can not deny my being trans, nor would I want to.
So, my lovely friend, why do we even have to use trans? Because love, it is an integral part of my identity, just as you identifying as black is an integral part of your life.
Thank you for your time, have a beautiful day sunshines. ^.^