The prospect of losing a child is terrifying

This post from the generally hilarious Meg over at Fisticuffs and Shenanigans sparked this post.

She spoke about the possibility of losing one of her twins due to an imabalance of nutriontional sharing, which initially is called Asymetric Placental Sharing, or the slightly smaller mouthful Discordant Growth. This is an initial phase of something often deadly called Twin to Twin Transfusion System.

TTTS is essentially when one twin starves another, then ends up having far too much nutrition for themselves.

My twins, C and D, had Discordant Growth, and by the time they came they were on the verge of TTTS. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

The first problems showed up at about 14 weeks, there was a noticeable drop in C’s weight, and a sudden gain in D’s. So we were scheduled to come back in 2 weeks.

Well, we came back in one week instead, at 15 weeks, when they decided they were going to come then and there. The contractions were hard and short. We got to the emergency room, they verified that indeed, she was in labor, and they were able to stop them with a giant needle full of steroids in the ass.

Unfortunately, that’s not the end of the story (it never is is it?)

There weren’t a terrible amount of problems, but we had to keep a constant watch on the weight discrepancy. We were in and out every 1-2 weeks for an ultrasound, until they came for good a month early.

A C-section was required for them, and it was a terrifying time.

C was the first to come out. He didn’t look right, he did not cry, he did not move, he did not breath. His little tiny body, 4 pounds 8 ounces (2.04 kilogram) was devastatingly limp.

The nurses rushed him away to the back of the room. I couldn’t even look, I had to stay by her side as they were working on getting D out.

I had resigned myself to the fact that one of my babies had died.

I had lost a child. I was mortified and lost, but I couldn’t do anything but focus on D.

When he came out, his little 4 pound 4 ounce (1.92 kilogram) body shook and shivered, he screamed louder than any little lungs and vocal chords like that should be able to. He was alive and vibrant, but very sick.

Suddenly, I heard a baby screaming in the background! C was alive! After a little over 3 minutes of not breathing he was alive, and screaming and breathing and living. I lost it at that point, I bawled my eyes out. We couldn’t hold either of them though.

Both C and D were very sick. The doctors never told us with what though. I spent most of my time with them. If I wasn’t at school, I was in the ICU. I would talk and sing to them. I took silly pictures as they got better. They were so tiny I could fit both of them into a single pair of headphones. After a month in the ICU, they were finally able to go home.

And that is the story of the beginning of their life.

Today, they are happy and healthy and going to school!

Thank you for reading this, and have a beautiful day sunshines.



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