I can’t gain weight. Now I know, I’ve heard it before: “That’s an awesome problem to have!” “Why would you complain about it?” “Geez, I wish I didn’t gain weight.” “You’re so lucky” and the list goes on. Well… None of those are right, and they’re frustrating as hell to hear?
So what’s the deal Ivy, you don’t have to worry about being underweight!
Well, let me put it in sheer numbers first, I’m 6’1″ and up until I transitioned, I never broke 125 lbs. (for those of you that use intelligent numerical systems: 1.85 meters and 56.69 kg) As far as BMI goes, that puts me at 16.5, well, 18.5 is already considered underweight.
In physical description terms, this meant that pretty much all of my bones showed and I was ribbier (if that’s not a word, it is now) than a baby back grill out.
My circulation is terrible, and I get really light headed super easy. It’s most definitely not a blast.
What about now?
After I started taking hormones, I did gain weight the first year, I gained 25 pounds (11.33kg)! I was so happy. I was 150 pounds (68.03kg)
It was pretty exciting that I had gained some weight, but I hit a brick wall, regardless of what kinds of things I ate, how much I ate, how little I ate, the amount of exercise, it’s done nothing. I float at the same weight, and still can not gain anything. It’s definitely better than it was. You can only see 2 of my ribs and my hip bones really well, but other than that, I’m not a skeleton with a skin outfit anymore, so that’s cool.
My circulation is still horrible. I still get dizzy easy.
I don’t like how skinny I am. I don’t want my face to look gaunt anymore, I’m so tired of it. I want to feel healthy, I want to *hopefully* have better circulation. I don’t want to be as cold all the time. I don’t want to see any of my bones sharply outlined by my skin anymore.
My doctors have found nothing, nor do they seem concerned, as I’ve told them *mostly truthfully* that I don’t have any eating disorders.
So, I’m asking you, please, if anyone confides in you that they can’t gain weight, or that they are trying to gain weight, don’t compliment them on the ability to stay small. It’s not a good thing, you feel like shit, your body image is bad if this is a concern for you, and it can be incredibly dangerous if it gets bad enough.
Not being able to gain weight is just as serious a problem as an inability to stop gaining too much weight.
I don’t want to be fat, but for fuck’s sake, I would really like to be true blue healthy for once.
And now, a message from our sponsors: Not actually, but it sounded good.
Have a beautiful day sunshines! ^.^