I’ve got this question a lot. A LOT a lot, and it’s probably time to give a bit of an explanation, don’t worry, it won’t hurt… Too much.
So, let’s get started.
Sexual identity: Who you want to go to bed with.
Gender identity: Who you want to go to bed as.
When I transitioned, it was because I knew I was female, but my body stubbornly continued to disagree. That sucks a lot, so I decided to do something about it. Six years later and voila, you’ve got a super snarky transwoman! (The snark didn’t having anything to do with the transition, I’m just that cool. I promise, you don’t catch snarkitis when you transition.)
My sexual identity never once had anything to do with it. Never even really thought about it. I have put a lot of thought into my sexuality (detailed here) since transitioning, but my gender identity had nothing to do with it. From the outside I just simply went from a straight guy to a lesbian woman. It was pretty much an afterthought. (Though it does make dating interesting, but that’s for another day)
I think this whole thing of tying sexual identity to gender identity is making it way harder for people to understand what “being trans” is. If you can separate those two, you’re on you’re way to a better understanding. It’s still a lot to take in and try to get, but you are one step closer.
So, just remember, whoever you want to party in your pants has nothing to do with who you are gender wise.
Thank you and have a beautiful day sunshine.